Join us for a Facebook Live chat with American Honey star Sasha Lane on Monday, Sept. NOTICE MARCH 20th, 2010: This post is now CLOSED for comments. I was just reading over your blogs, I was wondering, I am planning on moving to Sweden and I really want to meet a wonderful Swedish guy. Maybe it’s just because you’re used to the American way (the guy always making the first and asking the girl out etc.) and therefore you perceive it as women doing it more since they’re doing it more than you’re used to in USA. I’m a shy person too, but I learned that I have to make an effort too, just as guys do. Don’t expect him to pay for everything or buy random gifts. I’ve tried to cover some basics in the Can’t I flirt post. They expect men to pay for everything or they don’t want to know you!But don’t fret, there is a NEW POST to make comments. But the thing is I am pretty shy when it comes to asking guys out. Many Swedes are not opposed to marriage, but don’t expect him to marry you after only one or two years. @ Gustav, the male Swede- I think you are absolutely right. I just stumbled across this blog and I think it is interesting. I became interested in Swedish culture about a year ago when I met a Swede on a rosetta stone language chat website (sharedtalk.com). Just be open and understanding that’s he from a different culture and way of life. I am 60 years old and slept with almost 200 ladies from 1963-1993.
Please continue writing and sharing stories on the new dating Swedish men post. Swedish men seem so different from American men, much less cocky and opened minded. I always feel bad when men pay anyway, so I am so ready :p.
So I’m back in Sweden for a week and have a little while to mingle/party/get smushed on the T-bana with the Swedes. Are there any Swedish peeves I may not know about that I should be aware of before he gets here? I pick him up at the airport in 6 hours, so I am ecstatic!
However, after living in France for a year and a half, I knew what was going on with the French dating system (quite screwed up). Do Swedes date more than one person at a time before settling down with one person? About the shoes though, I think it would be very hard to have my family take them off (I’ve tried), they are very stubborn when it comes to how they live in the house, but I’ve talked to him about the shoes issue, and I he’s ok with this.
Now I know I have only been in Sweden a couple days (and will hopefully return permanently) but from reading various blogs and talking to Swedish girls, the dating system here is screwed up and really confusing. I am taking extra precautions by scrubbing the floors so he doesn’t get any dirt on his socks =P As my family says: “He should get the full American experience.” Hey peeps, I am actually an English girl but feeling just as perplexed about Swedish men!
First, I have to admit the American system is not good. I met a Swede online and hes lovely (we still chat as mates now) but when we met up in Stockholm it was a nightmare for me!
It puts pressure on the man to pay, to do things, to have chivalry and then that puts pressure on the girl to put out. I really like Swedish men but they are soooo different from English guys!
People date multiple people without really telling what’s going on and then all of a sudden things become official — “he’s my boyfriend now.” It is not acceptable for women to ask men out (believe me, it never works out even if he said yes on that first date). I want to be able to pay my way, not feel pressured, and hell, if I like that man, I ask him out. English guys are much more open in their approach (more bravado and open about their feelings) Their are similarities in our dating methods though.
Now it struck me that dating swedish men is something more utopian (for me at least) but at the same time more confusing than it could ever be. (which is why I thought it would be so easy) When I met my swede, he was gentle and sweet but it was like trying to get blood out of a stone sometimes!
So I figured I should at least put down all my questions and observations on this blog in the hopes that folks will respond with their own experiences and observations. One minute he was open and attentive, the next shy and closed up – I couldn’t read him at all and it made me retreat into my shell.