You get BOMBARDED by emails from fifty and sixty something Baby Boomers looking to trade up in the world. Yet these men keep on writing – talking about how they’re young for their age, how they’d love to have children, how they have everything in life except a good younger woman. Understand, Dale, there is nothing wrong with you being attracted to a fertile and youthful woman in her 30’s. Instead of searching through hundreds of thirtysomething women who wouldn’t give you a second look, Reverse Match shows you who IS open to dating a 56-year-old man.
I’ll be 42 in a couple of weeks, and in two years of online dating, I’d say about 70% of the people who write to me are fifty and over, often MUCH over.
I think the record so far is the 74-year-old who said he could have his daughter pick him up at the nursing home and bring him into the city if I were willing to meet for coffee. Your last line is telling, though, and hints at the broader trend. Unfortunately, it seems that all the men my age only want much younger women, which leaves me with the 20-somethings who think “MILF” is an appropriate subject line and write messages about being “into older women,” and the aforementioned geriatric (or borderline) set. If everyone is looking downstream, age-wise (except the few who have a “kink” for older types), where does that leave those of us who really are looking for a peer? Should I adjust my objectives to what the market has to offer?
This question is exactly why I’m on a dating hiatus at the moment, since I just can’t bring myself to seek out a much older man, or play the cougar.
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Last weekend I caused a bit of a hullabaloo by posting a Reader Question that said, “I’ve gained 25 pounds since we had kids, and now my husband doesn’t find me attractive. He apologized for hurting me, but he frequently turns me down when I proposition sex. ” There were some not very helpful comments left on that post, and I thought it was an important enough subject to revisit and post some of my thoughts!So here goes, in no particular order: Being attractive to your husband is HUGE.If your spouse tells you you’re not attractive, that’s devastating, and it’s hard to recover from. How does a 56 year old man find a good younger woman that would be interested in marriage and willing to have children by him? Most good sites line me up with the 50 year olds and most 36 year olds tend to think I’m a dirty old man.I know that such a person exists but can’t find a good avenue to find her. Thank you, Dale, for acknowledging a few very common truths from the world of online dating.You’re a successful older man who wants to date a woman significantly younger than him. Needless to say, this goes for ALL people who are dating online. We want what WE want, even if what we want is unrealistic.