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After breaking up with a boyfriend in 2011, I wanted to explore online dating and give being single in Toronto a shot before jumping into anything serious.

Unfortunately for me, I soon realized that the gay dating world came with its own set of rules, most of which are pretty weird and somewhat racist.

Race, body shaming, identity politics, and masculinity seemed to come up a lot and eventually I just said "fuck it" and deleted every dating site I was on. I needed to hear something other than "looking for whites only" or "straight-acting only." It got to a point where I felt shitty about wanting to get laid and needed give the online thing a rest.

In 2013, I came out of "online dating retirement" and decided to explore it again.

Every so often I'd hear my friends gush about all the great dates and hot sex they were having on Grindr and Scruff.

It took a lot of convincing, but I gave a few of these apps a shot.

I downloaded both Grindr and Scruff and immediately starting messaging people.

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