There are endless photos of unidentifiable men on online dating sites, and if we see those, we’ll pass right over them. It seems to be how we humans roll, especially when trying to complete an online dating profile that’s horribly awkward to begin with.Also, big thanks to a bunch of friends for chiming in on the topic.And BIG thanks again to Nate for being a model-for-an-hour.
Oh men, I know that the bathroom is probably the home to the largest mirror in your house, so I get why the bathroom selfies would theoretically be a good idea. Then we can snuggle up and you can tell travel stories for hours. If a girl’s in the photo, we are going to assume that (unless clearly captioned) this is your most recent ex.
(Ok, it’s a stretch, but I get it.) Remember though that this is our of you. And your attractiveness immediately turns into awkwardness, which turns into ahhh-let’s-just-move-onto-the-next-profile-ness. So the solution to this one is easy — just find some other great photos to post! The Mustache Ok, I’m prepped and know I’m probably going to get a lot of flack on this one.
And where do first impressions take place in real life? So step away from the shower, hand your friend a camera, and let us see you in your best non-bathroom light. The Macho, Macho Man Sorry to break it to you guys, but we aren’t looking for tickets to the “gun show” in your profiles. Trust us, anything will be better than the awkward unidentifiable blonde hair on your shoulder. The Shirtless Just as your mother probably told you at age 3 — “Son, get your clothes back on!! If we meet you at a party or a wedding or a coffee shop, I’m pretty positive that you are always going to be fully dressed for that first impression. And I know that many of you No-Shave-November fans are in it for a good cause. The Beer Fanatic (Ok, I thought it’d be nice to include at least one decent photo of my friend, GQ-model, and extremely-good-sport, Nate.) But this final one is just a little reminder that your online dating profile should be advertising , not your favorite beer.
Nor pics of you dripping sweat (and smelling lovely, we’re sure) at the gym. So it seems reasonable for you to throw half-naked photos all over your profile is a wee bit perplexing, to say the least. The Hunter Bloody dead animals that you shot and killed and hold up as a trophy for the world to know that you know how to hunt? But unless it’s November, or unless you’re a super hipster who knows how to rock a mustache (and even that can be debatable), it’s probably best to play it safe and either go all (beard) or nothin’ (nothin’). I’m all for enjoying drinks with friends, and posting a photo or two to document said enjoyment is NBD.
Nor do you need to highlight in every section of your bio that you workout, count “going to the gym” as your top hobby, or are “looking for a girl who values physical fitness”. So even if you have the best abs ever (and especially if you don’t), just be a gent and put your clothes on — some nice, buttoned-up, normal clothes that your mother would approve of. But when you’re holding a beer in everysinglephoto? So put your coozie down, and grab a glass of water every now and then.
Trust us, we think it’s super cool that you take care of yourself and stay in shape. You know, gotta stay hydrated after those other beers…
And if sports or working out are big parts of your life, then awesome — post that classic photo of you and your buds crawling through the mud to the finish line or playing volleyball or biking in that triathlon. But the sweaty guy pics and your bench press number can, um, stay at the gym. The Man Without A Face Ok, we totally get that you often wear sunglasses or hats when you are outside. Cheers to hipster apparel and protecting your skin and eyes from those harmful UV rays, right? Disclaimer: Again, please know that ALL of these are in good fun.
But when it comes to posting photos online, just nix them both. I tried online dating a few times in the past, and am sure that my lovely profile pics went check-check-check down the upcoming girls edition of this list.
I’m back with another post in my series on being single.
And since this time of the year can sometimes be a bit of a downer for singles, I thought we’d lighten the mood with the topic that never fails to entertain — online dating photos.
(Oh yes, we’re going there.) To those of you out there who have tried online dating, and spent hours wading through profiles after profiles — especially profile this one’s for you.