I am so happy to stumble upon other Orthodox Christians! While I met some pretty cool people this way, most of them weren’t interested in any type of serious commitment.
Number of Orthodox Christians besides myself is probably zero. So I’ve pretty much resigned myself to never finding any and have tried settling with guys who aren’t Orthodox and who aren’t even Christians or religious in any way.
They were also extremely damaged; for some reason I attract people with issues.
It’s in my nature to try and see the good in everyone and so I give them all a chance and every time I end up making serious mistakes and wind up in a worse place than I was before.
I know that when I get married eventually, I want to marry a guy who’s Orthodox.
So why do I date all these other guys when I know my religion is important to me?
Well, I see it as either I will be alone or with someone who is not Orthodox.
Despite what a lot of people will tell single Orthodox Christians, it’s not our job to convert the people we date to Orthodoxy.
We do believe that if you don’t have core values in common with the guy you are dating, marriage with him probably won’t work very well.
We are not saying to not date non-Christian guys, just that it’s smart to look out for red flags that you know will mean that the relationship won’t work out. From your letter, what it sounds like you want is someone who shares your values and has good character. That means you’re more likely to end up with the right person for you.
Dating guys who aren’t Christians, or Christians who don’t believe in waiting until after marriage to have sex, can be really tricky. However, since it sounds like you tend to attract guys who aren’t good for you, it would be worthwhile to figure out why you’re okay with putting up with them in your life.
My parents tell me to give them a try because they are converts and firmly believe that people can change, which I also believe.