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If it resonates with modern lovers it might make them laugh, make them feel uncomfortable, or perhaps just be too grim at times to bear.

David has 45 days to find a female companion, otherwise he will be turned into an animal. His brother, who had earlier been in the same position, is at his side – as a dog.

“He was here a couple of years ago but he didn’t make it,” David explains to the manager.

She responds that most people choose dogs, and that’s why the world is populated with so many of them.

David has few companions at the hotel and seems, like the accompanying soundtrack, devoid of happiness or hope.

His companions, whose names we never find out, are notable only by their physical disablements or “defining characteristics”.

John C Reilly’s character has a lisp, Ben Whishaw’s (Q in the recent James Bond films) is a limp, and Jessica Barden has uncontrollable nose bleeds.Rachel Weisz’s character has myopia, something David feels he may also suffer from.We soon find out that a shared disability, or even a liking for biscuits, much like gambit that will successfully match a couple.Explaining the difficulties of finding a pure, near sinless, smoking hot blond on the dating site Catholic Match, local Catholic Devin Porter told friends late last night that he was considering giving up ever marrying.“It’s sad that we live in a world where a devout and humble guy like me just can’t find the right girl,” said the 35-year-old bachelor, explaining how past relationships have always failed because the women either “had a past” or weren’t drop dead gorgeous.“Most of the time I’ll spot a girl on CM and they’re either not saint-like, or they don’t have that front-cover-of-Cosmo-magazine-physique look.” “I once talked to a really pious girl on the site and everything was going great for a few months until I noticed one day while we were Skyping that she had this little pimple on her cheek,” Porter went on to say.

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